The Bond of Love

Can a warm, close relationship with your parents in early childhood prevent serious illness in midlife? One of the earliest social studies about the power of love conducted by the French Sociologist, Durkheim, concluded that lack of social intimacy and group interaction was the major factor precipitating suicide. He also found that single men and women were more prone to commit suicide than married ones. This study became a classic study for sociologists. It was concluded in 1897.

Much later, in the 1950’s researchers in Scotland, led by Dr. David Kissen, found that men suffering from lung cancer (had trouble in personal relationships.) These men especially had difficulty expressing emotions. This was particularly true in very personal and intimate relationships.

One of the most comprehensive studies relating early love relationships and susceptibility to illness during midlife is the Harvard Stress Study of the 1950’s. The study was led by Dr. Stanley King and several associates. They randomly picked 26 healthy Harvard students from 1952 to 1954 classes. The students were asked to rate from 1 to 5 their relationships with each of their parents. Four was considered close and supportive; One was described as cold and aloof. The scale was as follows:

4:  Very Close

3:  Warm and Friendly

2: Tolerant

1: Strained and Cold

Conclusions were drawn 35 years later. The medical records were obtained from the participants revealing a surprising element in the role of love and intimacy plays in the development of serious illness in later life. Ninety one percent of participants who did not perceive having a warm close relationship with their mothers 35 years earlier had a serious illness. These included coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, alcoholism and ulcers. Only 45% of the participants with a caring mother suffered serious illness in midlife. Those who registered low warmth and intimacy with their fathers scored 82% illness compared to 50% who had good relationships with their dad. One hundred percent of those who rated both parent’s cold and unloving had serious illness by midlife.

The other two subgroups had similar findings. Seventy five percent with loving mothers and cold fathers suffered serious illness in midlife. Eighty three percent of participants with loving fathers and cold mothers suffered illness in midlife.

The relationship of sibling to parents was independent of family medical history. Researchers concluded that this perception of love reduced stressors that would otherwise have a negative impact upon later health. In other words, the immune system heals with the bond of love.

Data was collected from participants in another way. Students were asked to describe their parents in one word descriptions. The total number of positive descriptions provided foretold future health.

When all data was combined, 95% of students using negative descriptive words and rating their parents cold and unloving suffered serious illness in midlife. Only 29% of students with positive descriptions and warm, loving relationships fell ill in midlife.

Another assessment of the same participants showed that 94% of those with low perceptions of loving parents suffered high anxiety during college. In contrast, 24% of students with positive parental backgrounds experienced unusual anxiety during school.

During the 1940’s a similar study was conducted at John Hopkins Medical School. One thousand healthy males were studied to determine any tendency of cancer and parental bonding. Medical students who developed cancer over the next 50 years described a lack of loving relationships with their parents. The tendency to develop cancer did not diminish over time and was not dependent upon other risks, such as smoking and genetics. Malignant tumors, suicide and mental illness requiring hospitalization was higher in students suffering from loneliness and poor interpersonal relationships with their friends, family and community.

Later researchers, such as Dr. Russek and Dr. Schwartz, found that the reason later health was affected by early parental bonding is that sibling responded and related to others similarly throughout life. If the sibling learned to relate and bond more intimately and positively, their health may take a positive swing. Changing relating patterns was more difficult than behavior modifications such as smoking, alcoholism and dietary changes. The siblings, as adults, had to learn to cope with anger, depression, anxiety and relationships in different, more creative, positive ways. They also had to learn to relate to friends and associates with an open mind and heart, not assuming they would not be liked or noticed. By modifying ways of relating to others, better health and stronger friends and intimate relationships can be made.

Relationships of every kind leave us vulnerable for foul play and hurt feelings. However the only way to develop more trust and intimacy is to be receptive to others. Not everyone will be treated fairly all the time. As an adult, one can determine the responsibility of each interaction. We can only be responsible for our behavior, not what others do to us. However, by remaining receptive and not running away to close the door on relationships, adults can begin to attract more loving interactions with others as well as a healthier immune response to disease

There are no guarantees in love or finding love through others, but life will give us many opportunities to learn to live life through the actions of love. Researchers believe that people enact negative marriages and close relationships because they lack self-esteem from previous parental upbringing. Every contact from childhood to death can prepare the individual to be more receptive and attractive to loving relationships and commitments. In a step by step manner, an individual can attract supportive relationships by learning to love oneself more. This includes loving oneself when actions and thoughts are less than ideal. The next opportunity life offers will be better as self-esteem improves as well as health.

In recent studies, researchers have proved that the bond of love in family, marriage and community can delay the onset of genetic predisposition to disease for decades. This is true in the Roseto study. Roseto is and Italian American town in eastern Pennsylvania. Researchers tied a greatly lower risk of heart attacks for residents. They lived and ate similar to adjoining towns studied. The difference was the bond of family, community and traditions valued in Roseto. The closeness of the community reduced heart attacks dramatically. The community was like a loving parent supporting each family and individual.

Except in extreme deficiencies of early parental bonding, the lack of love can be modified by a stable sense of self, friendships, marriage and community. The rewards are even greater in personal satisfaction. Longevity and better health will be the result of forgiveness, and bonding in supportive relationships. Anxiety will be reduced as one sense the ability to handle every challenge life brings with the guidance and encouragement of loving relationships.

Petite Fleur Essences supporting the lungs include

Babies Breath helps overcome resistance and fear of change and aids self-healing for conditions such as pleurisy, asthma and bronchitis.

Spike Lavender supports cooperation, over domination, aiding self-healing from bronchial congestion, spasms and sighing.

Thyme inspires and aids our greatest achievements. The essence supports immunity against viruses.

Poppy reduces  a possessive, controlling and demanding nature. It helped my Dad heal from tuberculosis.

Lantana reduces oversensitivity and allergic tendencies

Grief is a blend to help overcome loss

Other essences promoting bonds of love include:

Catnip promotes social interaction and intimacy. It also helps autistics improve socially.

Lemongrass aids those who felt rejected by a parent or parents.

Aqueligia Columbine aids those with mother issues and to drop the roles from the family; the caretaker, the baby, the hero, to realize our full potential

Sunflower helps those with father issues.

Dill helps those who feel abandoned or experience anxiety separation.

Abate Anger releases negative feelings and patterns relating to anger, depression and anxiety.

Cecil Brunner rose helps us enter relationships with realistic goals.

Autumn Damask rose helps us learn from past disappointments in intimate relationships.

Louis Phillipe rose offers hope when love has passed by.

Self Image is a blend that helps attract successful relationships and community efforts

Leaving the Past Behind

Some memories can keep us from being totally present and productive today and in the future.  These include regrets, grudges and bad feelings about results of seemingly best behavior, projects and goals.  When life seems to sour, one of my favorite Petite Fleur Essences is Bachelor Button .  It especially helps when we cannot forget or release the past and encourages us to embrace the present and future.  The best way to change the past is to change who you are and being the best you can be today.

If compassion and forgiveness continue to elude you, Lilac Petite Fleur Essence may also help you.  The essences may be worn at the same time.  Lilac helps heal the deepest wounds by assisting self-forgiveness. Build your future where for and against are forgotten  

The Healing Flowers book and The Healing Power of Flowers DVD have more information.

For a consultation, questions or to order, call Dr. Judy Griffin at 1-800-496-2125 or visit her website online at www.aromahealthtexas.com

Jealousy, Harassment and Bullying

Are you being singled out at work or school and mistreated?  Are others jealous of your accomplishments and make remarks about your appearance and what you do?  Are you left out by friends or at family gatherings and ignored?  

Petite Fleur White Rose is an essence that will strengthen your resolve and attract people who respect and enjoy you.

Petite Fleur Vanilla Essence especially centers and protects you.  It is most helpful for children.  Both essences can be worn simultaneously to increase security and the feeling of being in control of your environment.  

For more information, call Dr. Judy Griffin at 1-800-496-2125 or visit her website online at www.aromahealthtexas.com

Motivation and the Courage to Move Forward in Life

Lack of motivation and drive is often non-responsive to current medication and supplementation. It is a primary complaint with depressed and passive personalities.

Petite Fleur Tiger’s Jaw is a topical essence that aids in overcoming inertia for the personality that observes more than participates in life. The personality may be immobilized by fear rather than being lazy or procrastination.

Petite Fleur Tiger’s Jaw will catalyze creative behavior and put thoughts into action. It is a non-scented essence that can be worn on the wrist or on the neck 3x daily for maximum effect. Change is normally apparent within 3 weeks. For depression, add Harmony and Passion blends.

If the personality is unable to access innate wisdom for guidance, Bamboo Petite Fleur Essence will help with direction and planning activities and goals. It can be applied within seconds of Tiger’s Jaw on unbroken skin.

For more information go to www.aromahealthtexas.com

For a personal consultation, call Dr. Judy Griffin at 1-800-496-2125

The psychologically harmful effects of abuse have long term effects on the recipient. The source can be power, control, anger, bullying or manipulation. Emotional scars and memories of emotional, physical or mental abuse can be healed over time. The Petite Fleur Essences most utilized to facilitate immediate self healing include:

Ranunculus- Encourages healing through touch and self nurturing.

Japanese Magnolia - Helps replace the codependent victim needs with independence and self-actualization.

Lilac   -   Enlightens the individual with forgiveness and self-forgiveness. It should be worn every time memories occur and before therapy.

African Violet - Encourages a peaceful state when one feels lonely or in need of protection.

Peer Pressure – Reduces the need to please others.

Madame Louis Levique Antique Rose - Helps surrender insecurities and any desire to be controlling.

Viridiflora - Helps the individual take back his/her power.

White Hyacinth - Releases shock and trauma from the body’s memory and enhances a new sense of self reliance.

For consultation with Dr. Judy Griffin, please call 1-800-496-2125 or for more information and to purchase products go to: www.aromahealthtexas.com

The following fears, worries or concerns can be reduced with the Petite Fleur Essences listed. Six or seven different essences can be worm daily, applied several seconds apart. If you have several of these fears, check with your health care provider obsessive/compulsive disorder.

Obsessions/Compulsions

Echinacea Petite Fleur

Unpleasant thoughts that come into my mind against my will often upset me.

 Wild Oats

I spend more time than most people cleaning, showering or checking. 

 Salvia, Self Image

  I usually have doubts about everyday things that I do. 

Lilac

 Other people have difficulty meeting my standards for order, cleanliness, safety, hard work of the simple decency. 

 Silver Moon

 I have little control over my thoughts. 

Lily

I worry that my bad thoughts will come true. 

Basil

 It is hard for me to be sure I’ve done something even when I know that I’ve done it.

 Amaryllis, Relaxation  

When I start worrying, I can’t easily stop.

Knotted Marjoram

 I repeat certain actions over and over. 

Verbena

 Insignificant events worry me too much. 

Basil

   People think I’m a perfectionist, a “neat freak,” a hypochondriac, superstitious, and rigid. 

 Begonia

   I tend to be a ‘Pack Rat.”

General Obsessions

Red Malva

  I often isolate from others. 

Champney’s Pink Cluster Antique Rose

 I worry (with little reason) that my partner is doing something behind my back. 

Daffodil

 I worry too much about hurting others’ feelings or making people mad. 

Peppermint Oil  

I worry too much about household noises, how things feel or other sensations. 

Anise Hyssop

 I worry that I won’t say things right or use the ‘perfect’ word. 

Soapwort

 I worry about always doing ‘the right thing’ or being honest, fair or on time. 

 Sunflower

 I worry about salvation, having sinful thoughts, blaspheming or other religious concerns.

Sweet Annie

I am afraid of getting old. 

Dill

 I am afraid of dying. 

Country Marilou

  I worry that some part of my body is hideously ugly despite reassurance to the contrary. 

Borage

I worry I can’t work or support myself. 

Aggressive or Sexual Obsessions

Iris I fear losing control with sharp objects, while driving, in high places and in other ways. 

Abate Anger 

 I fear I will harm others, hurt babies, or I get violent images in my mind. 

Crepe Myrtle

 I worry that I will blurt out or write obscenities or insults, even though I never have. 

Kolanchoe

I worry I might (accidentally) steal something. 

Marigold

 I have unwanted sexual thoughts about strangers, family, friends, children or others. 

For more information go to www.aromahealthtexas.com

For a personal consultation, call Dr.Griffin for an appointment at 1-800-496-2125

When my twin sister died of brain cancer, I went to her for suggestions on how to deal with the anger over my sister's passing on when she was so young.  As I was new to aromatherapy, I started with the Feng Shui room sprays and began by using Clearing (Letting Go) and Harmonize & Balance throughout my home to deal with my wild mood swings. I went from rage to crying hysterically within minutes. The sprays worked immediately restoring sanity to my household.  I then started carrying the Harmony and Abate Anger sprays with me to use at work and while away from home. Again, I was able to deal with outside stressors and keep my cool.

Then my mother passed away and 4 months later my best friend died unexpectedly. I refuse to take any pharmaceutical drugs because I do not want the chemical pathways in my brain changed. I was still utilizing the Room Sprays and Petite Fleur blends. Though I felt overwhelmed with these losses and felt myself falling into the pit of depression. Fortunately I realized that all I needed to do was call Dr. Griffin. I called her the day after my best friend died. She suggested I try using the Grief Blend and I picked it up the next day. They were amazing, I was able to miss my loved ones, yet remain calm and accepting. I shared the drops with her daughter and husband who had the same results as I did, calm in the midst of an emotional storm.

So when my father died of cancer two years later, I was prepared and made sure that my family was prepared too. I had visited him 2 weeks before he died and gave Grief Blend drops for my jojomom, my uncle and sister. They all are using them with good results. I carry it with me at all times and have another bottle I keep next to my bed. I also use the Relaxation and Deep Sleep blends when I need to come back to the present and get a good nights rest. I am forever grateful for Dr. Griffin's help and her incredible products. They pulled me away from the chasm of deep depression and help me focus on a productive happy life.

Petite Fleur Essences for Autistic Symptoms

Autism is a multifaceted sensory dysfunction with many symptoms and causes. The following Petite benefit symptoms over a period of weeks and months:

Marquis Bocella Antique Rose enhances sensory messages impacting sensory organs.

Abate Anger reduces self-abuse and aggressive behavior.

Bronze Fennel supports imagination skills and eye contact.

Catnip encourages socialization, initiating and sustaining conversation.

ADD/ADHD blend also facilitates socializing, conversation and language skills.

Wild Oats encourages smiling and a sense of humor.

Peer Pressure encourages making friends.

Enhanced Learning expands limited activities

Alfredo del Damas enhances fine and gross motor skills.

White Carnation reduces schedule and inflexibility.

Knotted Marjoram helps compulsive lining of objects.

Relaxation reduces anxiety depression.

Deep Sleep promotes healing sleep and REM time.

Genetic susceptibility to allergies, environmental and heavy metal toxins is aided by Allergy , Rose Campion , Environment , and

Detox .

For more information: www.aromahealthtexas.com

For consultation by phone or in person with Dr. Griffin call 1-800-496-2125

Grief is a painful experience in response to personal loss, tragedy, illness and death. There is a feeling that part of you is gone and nothing can replace it. Most people experience grief through loss of a loved one. However, loss of self due to changes in income, career, popularity or vitality can also lead to grieving. It is always a very personal experience which can reduce productivity and produce depression and despair. Sleeping and eating habits are disturbed; time seems to sop and daily structure becomes a blur. Many people suffer from anxiety depression related to unexpressed grief. 

Petite fleur essence Grief Blend   is a subtle, aromatic topical healing blend that transcends the feeling of pain and loss to one of purpose and meaning in life. Denial, sadness, guilt and anger are gently guided to acceptance and gratitude for every opportunity to love, be loved and advance in life.

True healing occurs while overcoming adversity and opening your heart to new opportunities. 

Aromatherapy for Loneliness

Loneliness creates a wide range of health problems, affecting every age, gender and socioeconomic condition. People in their 40’s and 50’s suffer the most from loneliness. Symptoms of loneliness may include depression, obesity, anxiety, sleep disorders. Lonely people sleep poorly, eat more sugar and fat and exercise less. Social connections are critical in alleviating loneliness and despair. 

Several Petite fleur Essences enhance social awareness and interaction; created and organically grown on site by Dr. Judy Griffin.

Louis Phillipe rose aids in recovery from relationship breakups.

Grief blend transitions loss of a loved one, job, partnership or a part of oneself.

Rain Lily reconciles friends and lovers.

Marie Pavie rose reignites burned out relationships.

Catnip encourages social interaction, inviting new friends and staying connected.

Wild Oats encourages a sense of humor.

Wisteria opens the heart to love and feel lovable again.

Petite fleur essences are worn topically daily. Their light scent lifts quickly. Most people receive positive effects within weeks of daily application. Once more, Life is good.

For more information please visit our website at www.aromahealthtexas.com